if you’re me

If you’re me, you remember how it used to be so easy to pretend that you weren’t human. Not that you’re superhuman (though that would be dope — if I could have a superpower, it would be Invisibility), but that, in the words of J.Cole, “I don’t mind ’cause I don’t matter”. You were so good at ignoring emotions, since they obviously were just neurological relics of earlier humans. You lived that I-don’t-give-a-damn-what-you-think-about-me mentality so well that you almost fooled yourself.

And, if you’re me, you will clearly recall the times you wish you could, just, go back in time, like how I want to go back and restart and re-word this sentence. (Of course, I could backspace, but that would defeat the point.) (I take back what I said earlier: Time Travel would be my superpower.) Not that you would have said anything different, but that you would have considered that, in the words of my wise grandfather, “the Junior knoweth not that he knoweth”. You, despite not being Christian, took this extension of Corinthians 8:2 to heart, and became some level of aware of your blindness, and your capacity to right the future, even if the past is unalterable.

If you are me (aside: ‘Me, I’m talking to you!’), then you can recognize when you’re in the wrong. Not that you necessarily can trace how you got there, but that, at some point, in the words of Black Dynamite, “You done fucked up!” You would, if you knew how, muster the strength to apologize to each and every person you’ve wronged on any level, and do whatever you could to do right by them.

On the off chance that you are me, and you can time travel, go back. Don’t do anything differently, however. Just pay more attention to other people than yourself. Don’t dwell too much, though; one cannot be led by a shadow. Move forward. Think positive. You’re getting better each day, whether you know it or not.


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